I was going to write about how Maddie barfed three times in three days, the latest of which got her clothes, her pillow, flat sheet, fitted sheet, and mattress pad. A new record. But what happened last night blows that away.
Listen all you other parents, our son just raised the bar for embarrassing moments. I’m posting this here so that y’all can just be glad you’re not us.
I didn’t blog about the time we took Aaron to his grandmother’s for babysitting, and he lost his ever-loving head with fear. Completely out-of-control inconsolable terror and panic. Crying so hard he was near passing-out from oxygen depravation. It was just like the day before that when we went to Noah’s for lunch and he did the same exact thing. Grandma figured the little tyke already recognizes “home” vs. “where the heck is this?” That’s a pretty solid theory, since each time we got the kid home he was better than fine. He was happy.
So last night, we go to a Chinese Banquet for Lillian’s mom. We ate lightly all day, and were looking forward to seeing all the family in one place again and eating lots of good food. And showing off our darling children.
After we get there, and hand Aaron to about the forth loving person, he’s determined that this was not home. This was, well, where the heck is this? His little “not home” alarm goes off. The inconsolable panic sets in. The kid cries that cry babies do when they eat millipedes or something.
This is too painful and embarrassing a memory to relive. Although we’ll never forget it.
Lillian and I trade off the kid, and the one with him walks off to an empty part of the restaurant. He’s not hungry, doesn’t need to suckle, not hot, not cold, not uncomfortable, not wet. Just terrorized. Nothing either of us did helped. So one of us ate, while the other tried to hide with him. We traded off about every other course.
Didn’t the kid pass out eventually? Yeah, once, for about 15 minutes halfway into it. That’s not long during a 3 hour banquet. When the banquet was over, we were so glad to be heading home, so no one else could see what bad parents we must be.
When we got in the house, Lillian was the first to realize: Aaron was cooing. He was happy again, and wanted to play.
We can’t take him anywhere.