Daddy Abuse

Top few items from our latest shopping trip to Target.  (I think it speaks volumes.)

  • Diapers, size 3
  • Diapers, size 4
  • Diapers, size 5
  • Scissors
  • Glue
  • Tylenol

My children don’t look anything like me. Which is fine, by all accounts. They’re real cuties the way they are. The trouble comes when my wife and I come to a disagreement on something.  Anything.

We’ll reach a certain point in the “frank exchange of ideas” where Lillian will look fondly at the children, and carefully explain to them one of the following:

    “Your daddy could be anybody!”
    “I’m gonna take you to your real daddy.”
    “That’s not what your real daddy would say.”