Projectile Poo

The following is an email thread from this morning.  I didn’t think much of it as we were replying to each other, but now I’ve decided to archive it here, as a cautionary tale to those who don’t know what they’re getting themselves into when considering parenthood.  The original message is at the bottom, and the replies are at the top.

From: David Blume
Sent: Friday, June 21, 2002 11:41 AM
To: ‘James & Minna Wurzer’
Subject: RE: Your niece

Yep, plenty of thoughts.

We put up a poo shield at the butt end of the changing table.  (Cardboard wrapped in tin foil / saran wrap, wrapped in an old tshirt.  The tshirt prevents spattering, the poo-proof layer underneath saves the cardboard.)

Of course, it didn’t happen much after we put in the defensive measures…  Maybe twice more, but never as spectacular.

It won’t happen to such a degree when she’s a little bigger (meaning her sphincter’s a little bigger & more mature) and especially when her diet changes.  (Of course then, her poo will smell.  It’s always a trade off.)

You’re a parent.  You learn to cope.  If you’d had a boy, after a couple of “sessions” you’d learn to use a clean diaper as a shield over the baby’s tummy for sprays that go in an altogether different direction.

Best of luck!

–David

From: James & Minna Wurzer
Sent: Friday, June 21, 2002 11:23 AM
To: David Blume
Subject: Re: Your niece

Thanks for your support 🙂

It’s nice to know that my daughter is not an anomoly (sp?)

This poop shooting thing just started and I am wondering how long it might last..

any thoughts?

-Minna

From: David Blume
To: James & Minna Wurzer
Sent: Friday, June 21, 2002 10:22 AM
Subject: FW: Your niece

Hi James, Minna,

  First, congrats on your baby!

  Rosie probably told you, but I wanted to assure you: I feel for you.

  Our daughter did that, and it made the Christmas newsletter.  As a matter of fact, I’m never going to let her live it down.  When she sneezed, poo shot six horizontal feet in a pretty rainbow arch, hitting the wall, chair, chenille (sp?) throw, and everything on the changing table.  We scrubbed the wall so hard paint came off.  And this was at 3:00am, of course.

–David

From: Rosie VanHerp
Sent: Friday, June 21, 2002 8:23 AM
To: David Blume
Subject: FW: Your neice

Ok, have I told you my neice does what Maddie did?

From: James & Minna Wurzer
Sent: Friday, June 21, 2002 7:29 AM
To: Rosie VanHerp
Subject: Your neice

did it again….

She sneezed and shot poop out the bedroom door. This time it hit the door frame too. AND I heard it all hit the floor.

AND I had to clean it up…..

EEEEEW

Daddy’s Update: 1/13/2003 Our experience with Maddie helped prepare us for Aaron.